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[crossreversed]

QUWROF IS UNAVAILABLE, LEAVE A MESSAGE

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[fogsong]

[ Despite the fact Sharon tried to mentally prepare herself for this, the feeling that washes over her makes every muscle in her body tense up, lungs freezing in her chest. He tells her to try not to panic but when she opens her mouth to shoot some biting retort at him, she can't manage the words, mind emptying of anything but an animalistic fear.

And, yet, some small part of her wants to lash out in return. Her expression twists, an angry frown settling onto her face, jaw clenched.

The moment it begins to fade, she sucks in a very sudden breath. She hadn't even realized she'd been holding it. It takes her several breaths before finds she's able to speak again. ] That was fucking awful. Is that how you actually feel? Or is that just how it is?

[crossreversed]

Hostile emotions are easier to put into your aura, I could do ren while completely calm, but it wouldn't get the point across. Milder emotions and desires to attack without harming can generate bloodlust as well, it's difficult to stop entirely when you're attacking someone.

That's part of why this takes so much control.

[fogsong]

Makes sense. [ A pause and then: ] Don't do that to me again. It made me want to burn you alive. [ There's no anger or blame in her tone. She understands why he chose to show it to her that way but fear can take her down two different paths and rage is the worst one. ]

Might also trigger corruption. [ That's said more thoughtfully. It's something to consider and may be useful in the future. ]

[crossreversed]

It can cause irreparable damage to the body or mind. Don't use nen against anyone you don't plan to kill unless they can protect themselves from ren.

I'll have to do it at least once more. When your ten protects you, you've mastered the basics of that exercise. You'll be able to tell what I'm feeling, but it won't overwhelm.

When you're ready, remove as many layers as you feel comfortable with and face away from me.

[fogsong]

Got it. Nen's a weapon, not a toy. [ Her head tilts left and right with each word of the phrase, a certain easiness to them. Her dad said the same kind of thing about the gun when he was teaching her. "Don't point this at anyone unless you're prepared to kill them."

She nods when he tells her he'll have to do it once more and narrows her eyes at him when he tells her to remove layers but she doesn't say anything. She rolls her eyes as she turns to face away from him, removing her outerwear and then pulling the white blouse over her head to reveal a loose-fitting tank top. ] Don't like that I have to face away. [ She grumbles more to herself than to him. ]

[crossreversed]

I've played around with this a little bit, I was curious if 'from behind' was just a superstition or tradition. It works better this way.

[Chrollo takes a step towards her and extends a hand. Her aura flow is naturally unusual, but he's confident in his skill. There's only one nen type that's more suited to awakening, and he doesn't have any stolen abilities that would cause awakening as a side effect.

It takes only a moment to gather enough of his own aura to force all of Sharon's aura nodes to open at once, to turn the light curl of rising aura into a steady flow.]

[fogsong]

[ Sharon straightens, back straight and stiff as a board, the moment she feels the difference. The hairs down the back of her neck and along the backs of her arms raise up at the sensation. There's something uncomfortable to it; familiar, although not entirely the same. ]

When I was burned alive, it was like someone flipped a switch inside of me. [ She's aware she's never told him her past but, frankly, it doesn't really matter. Her past isn't really the point. ] Everything I was was pouring out faster than I could get it back. I didn't know how.

It's a little similar to that. [ She looks back to him and grimaces. This would take some working at on her end to figure out but she's done something similar before. She'll try employing the techniques she uses to control her other powers when she's in a bad mental space. ] Except a lot less dangerous to the living things around me.

[crossreversed]

[Chrollo had already known about the burning alive part, unfortunately. Alessa as well, although his younger self came to that conclusion separately.

They can talk about the burning part later. It has some curious overlap with some principles of nen.]

Now that you can see it, pay attention to the way it flows. Your goal isn't to stop it from flowing, but to contain it so it flows around you instead of evaporating.

[Chrollo gestures upwards to where the excess aura rises and diminishes like smoke above Sharon. His own aura is tightly contained in a very thin even layer over his entire body, but still thick enough to be visible to anyone awakened.]

[fogsong]

[ Sharon pays attention to how Chrollo's aura remains contained close to his body. It's like an extra layer of him, outlining him. She frowns as she starts to concentrate, focusing on her aura and how it spirals out. It feels a lot like trying to catch and contain water in a sieve. Every time she feels she's gotten it, it's never enough.

She finally lets out a frustrated huff of air, jaw clenched. The frustration doesn't help her any but she continues to try. Her eyes slide shut. ]

How'd you manage your first time? [ Because she's thinking bubble right now. Her aura should be a bubble. Her bubble. And it's being a real bitch by not listening. ]

[crossreversed]

My awakening was very different.

It almost looks like you're trying to force it into a shape. That part isn't important, what matters is that it always flows back around instead of away, like it's caught in your gravity.

[Her aura has that sort of wobbly tremble to it that Chrollo associates with early transmuter exercises instead of imperfect ten or experimenting with ryu.]

[fogsong]

How different? [ She asks as she concentrates. It's hard to get out of the bubble mindset but it's not long before she gets a feel for what he's talking about. Thinking of it like something caught in her gravity seems to have helped her. ]

[crossreversed]

[It's interesting to watch the change in flow as Sharon adjusts, going from wobbly instability to erratic but slowly tightening flow.]

I did it naturally, long before I knew what nen was.

[fogsong]

[ She's not sure how he manages to do this all the time but assumes it eventually becomes natural. Fingers crossed, at least. She keeps at it, refining her technique, and certain things begin to click into place for her. ]

How'd you recognize you could?

[crossreversed]

Some of it's instinctive and natural. It's not unheard of for people, or even animals, to learn one or more of the four basic exercises without being awakened

I did ren first, I think. But I didn't get very far until it was explained to me.

[Chrollo can see the changes as she adjusts her approach. Experience with blood magic and her own powers might help here.]

You have most of it contained, try to keep it closer now.

[fogsong]

Even animals? [ That catches her by surprise and her concentration flickers out for a moment. She's quick to refocus but she wrinkles her nose like she's irritated. ] That still seems impressive. [ It's hard to untangle the near nonexistent appearance of powers in her world with how common it can be in others. Even here in Trench, she tends to assume someone else's world is more like her own than anything else.

She continues to focus and the aura gets tighter and tighter with every passing minute. ] How long does this take to become second nature?

[crossreversed]

Yes. They most often learn zetsu the technique for concealing themselves.

Judging by how you're doing with this, no more than a few months. It depends on how much you practice as well as your natural talent, but eventually you'll be able to maintain it while asleep. You can meditate when it's too much effort to do ten itself.

[Even when not expending aura, manipulating it in any way takes effort that results in a different kind of tired, the way an unused muscle can wear out while the rest of the body is still going.]

[fogsong]

Months. [ She groans the word out. One day she will have an excess of energy in this shithole. Since August, she's been in a state of perpetual exhaustion, some months worse than others. At this point, she's almost used to it. She shakes her head and refocuses herself again. ]

Zetsu. [ Ren. Ten. Zetsu. She's gonna need him to write this shit down. ] Is that just for concealing aura? Can it be extended to other people or things? [ She can tell this is going to take a lot of practice on her end to adjust to completely. Luckily, she's the diligent sort with this kind of thing. ]

[crossreversed]

You'll be proficient enough to move on to the next exercise before then. Ten has other benefits as well.

Zetsu is suppressing your aura so none of it escapes, it has a few uses aside from just being less noticeable, but we can cover those when you're ready to learn it. I'll explain it more when we get to that point.

[fogsong]

[ She lets out a tiny mph of disappointment. She is not the most patient of people. ]

Fine. What exercise will come next then?

[crossreversed]

Ren. But until you're more skilled with ten it will only make you tired even more quickly.

You're doing well enough for now, remember what this feels like. Both your mental state and what your aura feels like held against your skin like this.

Next you need to learn to slow the flow of aura escaping your body back to its normal rate. You'll be able to tell when you're there because it'll suddenly be very difficult to reduce how much you're letting out any further. It's much easier than ten.

[fogsong]

[ She grins when he says she's doing well enough. She doesn't expect the word good from him and will take what she can get.

It strikes her just how similar this is to more physical training. ] I got this shit. [ It might sound a bit overconfident but... Eh. She realizes it won't be instantaneous, nothing ever is, but the experience isn't all that unusual for her. The longer she works at it, the better it gets. ]

[crossreversed]

Once you can lower and increase the flow, you'll be ready to practice the rest on your own.

[fogsong]

[ She'll continue to work and perfect her control in silence for a time. It's more exhausting than she expected it to be but that's easy enough for her to cope with. She'll be a bit more careful exhausting herself over the coming weeks and gives those closest to her a heads up. ]

I know I asked you this before [ Before: back when she'd killed a man in front of him. ] But: why are you doing this? What's the point? [ His answers back then hadn't satisfied her and she never got around to pressing him further. ] You know I have powers already. [ He'd seen them in the pit. He might not know the extent of her abilities but he knows she's got them, at least telekinesis and pyrokinesis. ]

[crossreversed]

[Chrollo isn't ready to explain this completely, and he's not sure any honest answer will satisfy Sharon without giving the complete explanation.]

Because you'll punish and kill the people who need to be killed, and I want you to have as many tools as you can do to that.

[fogsong]

[ Sharon makes a tiny noise in the back of her throat, her lips pulled to the side in a look of frustrated consideration. It looks like there might be an argument on her lips but it's gone after a sigh. ]

I'd say thanks, but... [ It's not like it was done for her. Still, it's not as if she doesn't appreciate it. Even with all the powers at her fingertips, she still feels like it's not enough. ] I should show you how I punish people one day.