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[crossreversed]

QUWROF IS UNAVAILABLE, LEAVE A MESSAGE

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QUWROF: [ AWAY ]
LEAVE A MESSAGE

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[crossreversed]

He was a dear friend, he was with us since the beginning.

I'm glad you can see reason even when you're angry.

[fogsong]

Did you avenge him?

I can rein myself in for the most part. [ if she weren't, her texts to him would've been much more aggressive and expletive-filled. she recognizes that he did both what was necessary at the moment and what she wouldn't have been able to do herself in the same position. ]

CW: mention of suicide

[crossreversed]

No, and I was ready to give up on that to keep everyone else alive.

Everything was complicated, and we all made mistakes, especially me.

Another friend of mine gave her life to keep anyone else from dying. I wish she had risked mine instead, we might have all lived and he wouldn't have gotten away.

[fogsong]

[ That's something that strikes her about Chrollo: no matter how he acts, how strange and distant, his friends from home seem to matter more to him than anything else. ]

If wishes were fishes.

He? The person who killed your friend? [ He might have gotten his vengeance if his friend hadn't given her life? God, that sounds... shitty as hell. ]

[crossreversed]

Yes, and things will get very complicated if he washes up here.

There's no way to change what happened, and perhaps I would have died if she had chosen to risk my life, but I still would have preferred that.

[fogsong]

When an enemy washes up, things tend to get complicated. Unless this isn't about the fact that you could kill him a hundred times and he'd still crawl back out of the ocean?

And I've been there. I get it.

[crossreversed]

It's not. The effects of his ability aren't so terrible because I can just die and come back, but he could make life difficult.

That's the worst part of it. Choosing who gets placed in a more dangerous situation, who to ask to protect someone else with their life.

I never wanted to be the one on the surviving end of that even though I knew it was always a possibility. It feels hypocritical, asking other people to put their own lives above mine.

[fogsong]

It's okay, I could make his life difficult, too. [ She is aware he's capable on his own, of that she has no doubts, but he wouldn't have to deal with it on his own. ]

That's the curse of loyalty and leadership, I hear. If they think you're worth following, if they trust you, they're probably willing to die for you regardless of what you want or think is right.

It's nice to know you don't like to be a hypocrite, though. [ She doesn't have a problem being one, honestly. ]

[crossreversed]

No. You're not part of this.

His hatred for me is the same as the hatred you and I have for others. I have no doubt you could make him suffer, but I'd prefer another approach.

If they trust me, I'd prefer they follow my plan instead of their feelings. Some of them could manage it. Perhaps I'll get a chance to show you sometime, I've heard memories can be shared here.

[fogsong]

Why does he hate you like that? [ She doesn't really expect an answer but now she wants to know. ]

Every time I've experienced other's memories here, they didn't have any control over what was shown to me.

[crossreversed]

Perhaps I'll tell you sometime.

Were they trying to stop their memories from being shared at all or trying to control which ones were shared.

It might be like torture, the ones who just try to say nothing don't last as long as the ones who focus on saying the same thing over and over.

[fogsong]

Thanks for the torture tip but no, it's not like that.

The times it's happened to me, when my own were on display for others, there was no... There was no trying to stop it because it just happened. On the fucking network of all places. The next time, one of my memories was in a book that other people could read and get sucked into. I didn't even know others were experiencing it until after, some of them... weeks or months after.

The one time I willingly chose to view someone else's memory, he didn't know what memory would be shown to me but chose to share it with me regardless.

I don't think there's anything we could do to influence what is shown.